Earth
by Adishailan
Summary: I was known as Eren: ally, friend and brother. Now I'm known by many names; called so by those I've promised to save. For them I'll run like the wind, sing vows of death, and dance through red-stained mists. The promise is hard to keep. I'll slice with broken blades, hack deep into flesh, destroy this twisted fallacy of life. The promise is impossible to keep. I will keep it anyway
1. Chapter 1

**For those who are new to this series:**

 **Thanks for checking out this story! I seriously recommend reading my first part: 'Sacrifice' first, though. This probably won't make too much sense otherwise.**

 **For those who have read Sacrifice:**  
 **Heeeeyyyy**  
 **I really hope you enjoy this new installment. I want to give you big AO3 hugs for all of the amazing comments and kudos you guys have given to me and give a huge thanks to my Beta: Bloody Pinprick from FF! Without you my punctuation would turn people to tears.**

 **I really hope you all enjoy!**

 **P.s. If you're interested in the song Eren sings: youtu . be / vxlste3JucU?t = 103 (minus the spaces)**

* * *

The sun sank steadily into the earth as I sat in front of a large crude fire, winding a hand through my hair, watching the humans around me set out their sleeping rolls. My hair was thick now, black and almost to my waist.

While I was probably looked just about old enough to join the army before, I knew Armin's old man would have had some (many) complaints if he recognised me. He'd probably tell those in charge that I was actually younger than I looked; that seemed the sort of thing he would do. So I took my older form of Eury, a thirty-year-old woman with thick, black hair, a strong nose and brow, and a cool olive tan. My arms were bare, but for the black bands of dotted ink from my wrists weaving up to across my chest. My eyes were the same burning bluish green though, as always.

I got a few odd glances now and then with the appearance that varied from this time's norm, but most of the humans seemed lost in their own heads, unable to even see their own hands as they gazed at them. I wasn't surprised when the humans had been slow to gather that first morning but, as time slowly went on, more and more of them started to fill the space. Each time I thought that it must be all of them a new wave would come, shepherded by officials or being dragged along by ill looking soldiers into the queues of people filing out.

The first two days had been toughest.

A stagnant miasma of misery and choking despair filled the air as everyone shuffled around the crudely erected tents, silently picking up equipment and soldiers' clothing.

In my life before I woke to this new world, I had little to no experience with metal. Yes, technically it came from my domain, but the odd mixtures and forms they made with it had been a rather new invention of the humans then. I knew enough, however, to be shocked at the poor quality of the blades we were being given. I suppose those in charge didn't want to waste good materials on the Titan food. Some of the humans around me seemed to have the same understanding in their eyes, but instead of the burning anger in mine, theirs only held fear and sadness.

That first night none of them slept properly, waiting to start training properly the next day. They knew they only had a two weeks to master the basics before being churned out of the front gates, past frozen soldiers and empty homes. The last hints of sunlight faded away and I sat in the dark, simply watching them as they slept. It was a bad situation but- in a weird way- I couldn't help the little bubble of excitement in my stomach at the thought of flying without wings, moving like those military members I had at one time helped and even vaguely admired.

That felt like years ago now...

* * *

It was the next day, while everyone was in those funny little postures the army liked so much, as we stood in the open barren field, that I finally saw the face I had been searching for since I arrived. I almost missed him. He didn't seem to have his old hat on any more, and his white hair was long and frazzled around his head, like a seeding dandelion.

Once the ill looking sergeant at the front had **finally** stopped shouting and had everyone put their equipment on, I made a beeline towards him. His eyes were ringed in red.

"Hello," I said as I strapped on what I now knew was called 'man-oo-ver gee-r'.

Surrounded by silence, but for the shuffling noise of all the humans struggling to put on their equipment, my voice sounded almost like a thunderclap. The old man turned to look at me with surprise as I nodded at him.

"My name's Eury, what's yours?" I asked.

"Christophe Arlert," the old man nodded weakly as he put on the straps over his shoulder

"Hmm... never gonna remember that. Can I call you Oldman?" I asked with an overly lively grin. The old man seemed surprised, either by my smile or what I said but he smiled back too, ever so faintly.

"Yeah I suppose so young girl," he said in a quiet croaky voice, sending me another weak smile which I returned tenfold.

"Why are you so cheerful?" Spat a voice from behind me. I slowly turned around to look at the middle aged woman staring at me out of pale scared eyes.

"...The sky is blue, the sun is warm and one day we are coming back here," I told her easily.

The woman had only stared at me with angry doubt before turning away to face the sergeant at the front again.

* * *

I had thought before I got to that place that the days would be long, boring and crammed with all the things that everyone had to learn. Well two out of three wasn't that bad.

The thing was: there were so many new recruits and so few instructors that a large part of each day just involved everyone standing in formation as we watched people test out their equipment in front of us. Not everyone would have a go.

My patience for this lasted all but two days.

"Fuck, this shit is boring," I said loudly as everyone watched the instructor go through the basics **again**. Probably too loudly, as the human turned to look at me with a cold expression.

"Alright, big mouth. Your go," he snapped.

I smirked faintly as I went to the front. I got this, I thought.

Ten seconds later I had to take that back as my head slammed into the earth.

People started to murmur quietly as I struggled up and tried again. I hadn't exactly been quiet about my reason for coming here, telling anyone who looked too scared or that I took a liking to that I was here to help everyone else, to get back to the wall with them one day- and now it looked like I was failing before I even started.

 _Fuck. That._

I stood up, strong and tall, body frozen in place as my stomach flexed and pulled to keep me steady. I looked out determinately at the humans before me, my eyes meeting theirs as I stared confidently out at them. Then the earth span up into my face again.

"What?!" I exclaimed through a mouthful of sand.

"...Sir, could you check her belt?" Asked a familiar voice. I picked myself up from the dust below me as the old man stepped forward with a contemplative expression on his face.

I looked down in confusion as the instructor inspected my belt. His face, at first, filled with irritation and then with sharp surprise.

"The puh-ih-voht pin is missing!" He exclaimed before looking at me oddly.

I had no clue what this pin thing was but by what some of the humans were whispering it sounded like I shouldn't have been able to stay upright as long as I did. It was much much easier to stay up when they gave me a different belt.

I grinned at the crowd as I swung gently between the two wooden poles. A few of them even tentatively smiled back to my surprise. The old man was smiling hugely when I got down to join him again.

Unfortunately the old man was one of the many who didn't get to try out his belt with the others. That didn't matter though, I decided as I quietly motioned for him to follow me that night. I was a god. Who better to teach a mortal to fly?

I heard people say that the old have a harder time learning new tricks. Well, the Oldman would sure shut them up; he soaked up the information like a sponge. The only problems he had were on the physical side. He just didn't have the flexibility or fluidity of movement for much of what I tried to teach him. It took him several nights to gain the correct balance but, by that time, our late night training sessions were no longer just the two of us.

The second night brought a nervous boy of about eighteen with short cropped flaxen hair and an upturned nose, and a woman in her forties with glasses and the most freckles I had ever seen on one face, who asked for my help to get their balance right. Freckles and Flaxen seemed to be related, not mother and son as far as I could tell, but still close.

I got them to improve their stances by trying to knock each other down, occasionally stepping in to make them widen their legs and find the centre of their balance. Freckles was really good at this, sending me small, reserved smiles every time I walked by as she helped her kin.

The third night, there were five more arrivals to our group. That doubtful middle aged woman from the other day had swallowed her pride and asked that I could help her with her balance, along with pair of milk-skinned twin women in their thirties (one jittery looking and the other always quietly furious). Then came an emotionless looking ginger-haired man in his late thirties and a really very masculine woman in her early twenties who liked to flex her arms a lot.

"Good work Flaxen. Pair up with the old man now."

"Pokerface, either pull in your legs or push them out, you won't keep your balance like that!"

"Flexer, for my sake stop hitting on Jitterone and try and knock her over."

"Fury, you're supposed to be pushing Pride over not giving her a hug!"

It was actually a bit enjoyable this. I was glad now for my time following the Scouts and observing their fighting against the Titans.

The group of humans didn't seem to like the names I had given them at first (except for Pride- the grumpy middle aged woman seemed to actually like it when I called her that if the tight smug grin she gave was any clue) but they soon got used to it. By the fifth night they had even given me a name as well- two, in fact: Green eyes and Commander. Green eyes was obvious enough and commander seemed to be too at first. I thought it was because I was doing a better job than the instructors and taking their place, but the old man carefully explained that it was because they felt I commanded their attention and told them what to do.

Hell, I wasn't hearing any complaints and they still came back every night.

There were more additions to our group as time went on, but by this point I couldn't be bothered to memorise all of their faces and started getting Freckles, the old man and Pokerface to teach the new ones, occasionally popping by to offer some tips or just shout at them. The shouting thing was kinda fun.

By the eighth night I somehow got up to thirty people gathering around me. I was surprised none of the people in charge had tried to break the group up yet. Probably they didn't care enough to do anything, although I did, on occasion, get a few odd glances from one of them: a tall man with a blond bun.

* * *

"Now, I'm sure you all heard them lot talking about the best way to attack a Titan with your gear!" I called out at them once they were all gathered together. "But that's gonna be worth shit if you don't know how to attack from the ground. There's a lot of open land out there, as you know. It's not all going to be nice forests to swing like a monkey from." There were some odd looks exchanged at the word 'monkey', but I kept on talking, bringing their attention back with a question.

"Anyone got a clue how we are going to take down a fucking fifteen meter Titan when we're bugs on the ground? -or on horses if we're lucky."

"We h-have to attach our gear to the Titans," Flaxen spoke up in a wavering voice.

"Well done, you; you were actually listening to them earlier on. I think I was almost asleep by that point." There were a few chuckles and I grinned at the huge group of people spread out on the ground before me.

"Okay so we're going to fire some sharp spikes into their bodies and pull ourselves up to cut up their necks. Anyone see a problem in that?"

Everyone was quiet for a moment, seemingly unsure of whether I wanted the obvious answer.

"They're going to feel it," said Pokerface, standing a little way off to my right with a bored expression... I think.

"Right! Well, actually sort of right. Some Titans will feel it but some won't. They don't all- uh- reply to pain the same way. So how can you tell which will feel it and which won't?" There was a silence were everyone tried to scrape their brains for an answer.

"The answer is... you _can't_ ," I interrupted their attempts to think. "So I want you to treat each Titan like they can actually feel you jab sharp spikes into their skin... Hey Flexer, get up here, I want you to help me show everyone what I mean."

Flexer looked slightly nervous at this, but, after seeing Jitterone looking expectantly up at her, she quickly got up and casually sauntered over.

"Okay. Flexer's a Titan, so sorry for you," I informed her with a small, wry smile, "and I've just shot a painful barb at her. What you going to do, Flexer?" Flexer grinned at me and lunged forwards; I danced out of her way.

"You got to be fast when attacking; keep up the speed and don't stop. Not all Titans are the slow, lumbering, brain-goners some people say they are. Some are fast and move in ways or do things you don't expect." Flexer dropped to the ground and span her leg around as I jumped up in the air. "Treat every Titan as if they could be like that. Don't relax," I continued, my quiet smile gone now as I weaved in and out of Flexer's punches, not once landing a blow on her as I jumped and dived around her in fluid, wind-like movements.

"So how should we fight these creatures with their fast speed and feeling skin?" I asked them, suddenly stopping in front of an irritated looking Flexer, who immediately made to grab me-

-only to fall backwards, broad mouth a little 'o' of surprise as Fury kicked her legs out from the side with a smug smile.

"This is the answer: together. Teamwork is key when fighting any enemy. Right there I was the distraction and Fury was the attack. I want you to find a partner you can do that with- but to do that you need to know everyone like you know yourself, it makes the teamwork much better. Some of the best armies in history relied on close friendships and teamwork. See Oldman there? He is great for ideas and strategy. Pokerface here is surprisingly flexible and good at flips, and Pride here has some fucking fabulous bloodlust going for her once she's over her nerves."

These humans smiled at my words, even Pokerface, I think- I mean there was definitely a faint twitch of his lips.

"As I know what they're like I know how I'll work with them. So you all, this is your mission during the day: while watching the others using their gear, start talking with other hu- people. We don't know who's going to be in our squads when we set out in a few days so it's a good idea just to be friendly to everyone, find who you'd work best with." I clapped my hands and looked around at my silent audience with a grin.

They were staring at me quite strangely now. Slowly one of the newer members raised his hand. It was that young thing with a yippy, little voice; I'd seen him the other day struggling to balance with his belt.

"Yeah what-"

"-Wereyouinthescoutsorsomething?" he interrupted in a rushed garble of words, staring up at me with huge, wide eyes.

"No," I replied shortly. "We're done for the night. Everyone go get some sleep. You'll need your rest for all the standing around you've got to do tomorrow." I turned to walk quickly away from the humans, but slowed my stride to let the Oldman fall in step with me.

"You should follow your own advice you know," he told me conversationally. "I think I haven't seen you sleep once since I have met you." I didn't bother to reply to this, simply shrugging.

"You missing them?" he asked. If I had a heart it would have skipped a beat as I stopped short and stared at the Oldman.

"Thought so," he said with a small, sad look, "you smile a little too wide and a little too much... I see you sometimes, and you look like you're a hundred miles away- or that you wish to be."

I looked down, still silent, not quite sure whether to be relieved or strangely disappointed that he hadn't in fact recognised me.

"What are their names?" He asked me softly as he could in his scratchy voice.

I hesitated, then felt my face fall into a scowl. No... I wasn't doing this. I turned to leave but stopped as he started to speak again.

"Sorry little o-Eury, if you don't want to talk, you don't have too. Just remember what you always say: you will come back here. You will see them again," he croaked out, eyes distant as if consumed by those thoughts. He tried to put a hand on my shoulder but I quickly dodged out of the way.

"...You're a good person Oldman. I swear to you you'll see your grandson again," I whispered to him before heading back to the camps. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the old man stare after me, hand frozen in the air.

 _He's a nice human; a bit odd, but nice_ , I thought to myself. _Like hell am I going to let him get eaten._

* * *

It was now that evening. The final one. The last night of relative safety that many of these 'soldiers' would ever have.

Across the fire the old man sat, rubbing his hands, occasionally sending me a quick glance. To my right, Pokerface looked into the fire, pale eyes unblinking. Flaxen and Freckles were sitting on the hard ground, clasping their hands together in a heavy silence, and between the tired twins Flexer was staring up at the sky with a tight twist to her lips.

As I looked around, some of them met my eyes with faint nods and pale almost-smiles. Each and every one of them (except for Pokerface) held some element of fear on their faces; the emotion seemed to leak from their pores, cloying the air. Each of their breaths seemed to drag as these people sat in the fogged up air of their own fearful misery.

I started to hum.

Incredulous eyes turned to me, and the humans around all watched as I opened my mouth.

"Hoson zēs phainou, mēden holōs sy lypou, pros oligon esti to zēn to telos hi chronos apaitei..." I sang slowly in a deep earthy tone, catching people's attention and their eyes before changing to their language in a soft but joyful tone, tapping an aching beat on my legs with every word.

"While you live, shi-i-ine on, be joyous and dance, and seize the day... We're only here until we're gone, and time demands to be paid... Hoson zēs phainou, mēden holōs sy lypou, pros oligon esti to zēn to telos hi chronos apaitei..."

Oldman started to hum next to me and I grinned widely at him. Across the fire, Pride stared at me with her pale, wide eyes, saying something in her silent gaze that I couldn't quite understand.

I continued to smile softly at those around me as I sang those words over and over and threw a log into the fire, causing sparks to jump up and dance through the dark smoke-scented air as I sang in their language once again.

"While you live _shine_ on, be joyous and dance and seize the day. We're only here until we're gone and time... time demands to be paid..." The song wound down with the fire as the people around me drifted off into more pleasant dreams. Only when the last sleep crusted eye closed did I let the smile slip from my mouth as I buried my face in my hands...

"...You sang beautifully there," came a soft voice from behind.

I blinked and slowly stood, turning around to see the bun man who I had noticed before- the man who watched me sometimes during the days of 'training'. He was tall with soft brown eyes, a small beard and long blond hair in the aforementioned bun. The man nodded to me slightly, clearly wanting me to walk with him.

Well, I wasn't going to say no to a distraction from my thoughts.

"You know who I am?" He asked as I fell into step with him.

"Nope," I said, kicking my legs forward as we walked, watching the wide arch of the dry earth fall to the earth in the star light. The bun man nodded and smiled as he told me his name and started listing off his rank.

"Yeah great. What was it you really want to talk to me about?" I asked, feeling my already short patience starting to fray.

"...you don't like the people in charge here, do you?" The bun man asked with a bemused half smile.

"Not really. But I find it hard to like people as a rule," I returned.

"Really? Then what about that group of people you've been teaching each night? Do you not like them?"

I stopped walking and turned to face the human.

"What. Do. You. Want?" I asked, voice becoming hard as I met his eyes.

"...I want you to join my squad. Not going into Maria but into the Scouts. I've seen you teaching and on the runs and using your gear. With a bit more practice you could be great. You have real prom-"

"No."

This obviously wasn't the answer he was expecting if the level of surprise on his face could be trusted. I was finding, though, that I didn't trust much about this face at all.

"Can I ask why?" he asked, after he collected himself.

"I'm not leaving the old man. I made a pa- a promise that I would keep him safe." That shut up the bun man for a bit as we walked past the other crowds of humans and their dwindling fires. Many of them still seemed to be awake and full of terror.

I wondered faintly if I could sing to them too but there were far too many humans, far too many fires dotting along the shadowed earth like a war-torn reflection of the heavens above.

"I could get your 'old man' assigned to the Garrison," said Bun man suddenly, breaking into my musings.

" **I wish he could be safe,"**

 **"Save them."**

 **"I don't want him to-"**

 **"Save them all."**

"...No-o. I can't..." I found myself saying. The man looked really confused now and I sighed, looking behind me where the old man and the others slept not too far away.

"You see that boy there? Don't remember his name but I've started calling him Barker; often interrupts people when they're talking (has no patience at all) and sounds like a yippy dog when he's stressed," I said as I pointed towards a young red haired boy just visible from where I stood. "That girl there we call Flexer. She likes to show off her arms whenever she can, she has a large crush on the woman to her right, who I call Jitterone. She doesn't know that it's Fury, to her left, that's started to like her. Don't think even Fury knows."

I could feel the man looking at me now as I turned to look at him with a heavy frown.

"Pride, Freckles, Pokerface... Can you promise you would take all of them too?" I asked him with a shrewd look. He sighed and shook his head.

"Then I'm okay, I'm sticking with them... I don't like them the way you mean. I can't. But... I'm not going to leave them."

"...Then I'll suggest tomorrow that you and your ' _colleagues_ ' go to the West Division. They're being assigned horses... If you survive this, the invitation still stands." He had a doubtful look about that, but it faded away as I started to laugh.

"I'm not going to be killed." I smirked at him before turning to leave. "See you again some day, Bunman,"

"Good luck, Green Eyes." I heard him return before he too walked away.

 _I don't need luck; I'm a god_ , I told myself.

 **I was naive.**


	2. Chapter 2

_So here's the next chapter for Earth, sorry about the delay you guys. I am not going to bore you with my excuses... but I will say: I'M AN AUNTIE NOW! Woohoo!_  
 _Anywho, I apologize in advance for the first line of this chapter... Have fun..._

* * *

Pride was the first to die. She just couldn't get over her fear when she saw that first Titan.

It was only one hour into our ride that it happened. With the wind blowing hard against me and my feet high off the ground, I wasn't the one to first realise the Titans had arrived. All we heard was the scream of warning and suddenly we were besieged on all sides; blocky and skeletal formed creatures everywhere, filling the air with their hungry stench.

I was on the edge of the huge squad, next to the old man, Pokerface and Barker. There were no orders or commands; we were too far away from the squad leader, or whatever the person was called. Stuck on a fear filled horse, there was little I could do with the earth far below me. In my selfish hesitation to have hundreds of humans witness my strength, several humans were plucked off their steeds.

This included Pride, who was 200 yards in front of me. She was petrified and didn't even pull her blades out as the Titan ripped her out of her saddle and stuffed her into his mouth, slowly chewing down with a sick, pleasured smile.

Barker screamed in blind, bloodcurdling anger and rose to attack, but I quickly leaned over and pulled him back down onto his saddle. I too felt the bubbling thrum of anger in my bones, urging me to launch myself at the thing, but out of the corner of my eye I saw Oldman fearfully urging his horse on. No... I had to be smart about this. I had to think, not feel. So, instead, I somehow swallowed that sharp lump of rage and let it fester deep in my stomach.

I rose to stand on my saddle, whispering to the terrified horse to keep on running as I looked around. The herd of humans was splitting down the seams as everyone desperately weaved in and out of the massive legs and hands, colliding together as they tried to save their own lives.

"What should we do, Elyla?" Shouted Oldman, eyes streaming but just about keeping himself together as we rode.

"Oldman, Barker! Keep everyone here together in one group. Scream, shout, I don't care what, just keep them together. Pokerface, you're with me. I'll be distraction, you're attack."

Pokerface nodded and readied his blades, nodding towards the Titan coming in from the left.

I rode forwards with the horse below me, separating from everyone to draw the thing's attention away. I then leapt off, shooting forwards the cables into the Titan's stomach to spin like an arch of light in front of it.

As I did this, Pokerface attached himself to its back and pulled himself towards the thing's nape, slicing deep. We both pushed off of it as it fell back, inelegantly landing on the horses.

"E- Elyla, there's two more incoming to the right!" Called the old man.

"Right! Barker, you're on distract! Don't use the gear, just your horse! Me and Pokerface on attack! Oldman, keep everyone together!"

And so it went. Me and the old man gave everyone orders as we all swapped around our roles. I kept Barker on distract, but let Pokerface take down several Titans, only swapping him out when he didn't cut deep enough on one and almost got bitten in half.

As we rode I found several other humans who worked well with us. A bald man and a smart looking dark haired man with glasses were great distracters, weaving in and out with great control of the horse as they gathered the Titans' attention. A silver haired woman with a manic smile was a good attacker when sent by herself. While working with others, her blade swipes were a little too wide to be comfortable.

"Green eyes! We can't keep running the horses like this. They're already slowing!" shouted out Oldman as I drew back once again.

We were separated from the main group by now, about fifty humans and me running the horses as fast as we could after the distant group in front of us. "... Tell everyone to slow up a bit," I told him.

He looked at me incredulously but followed through, calling out the commands.

People were slow to do this as there were still many Titans behind us but we did slow a bit. Enough that when I jumped off my horse and was able to keep up with them it didn't look- well it still probably looked unbelievable but not as much.

"Hunter! What are you doing?!" Barker screamed loudly.

"Keep everyone fucking moving Barker! Oldman, look after my horse and everyone. Pokerface you work with glasses and crazy grey hair. Don't let her kill you!" I shouted at them all before dropping back behind everyone.

The Titans behind immediately started running after me but by this point I was done.

They ate Pride. I didn't save that grumpy woman. I hadn't been able to save them all... I couldn't. I wouldn't.

I don't know who I was angrier with, myself or the Titans, but the result was the same. I arched my leg around, sand and earth, disturbed by this sudden movement, spinning up into the cool Autumnal air like a comet trail to my movements.

I took a deep, echoing breath and looked up at the creatures make their way towards me.

I moved. Sky and Earth melted into one as I span around them. I kissed my blades across their skin, tearing down on the tendons in their ankles, and jumped onto their falling furnace-hot backs, quickly dispatching them with a sharp strike across their necks. I jumped from one to another, barely using the gas canisters as I moved in quick succession from one to another.

I stopped thinking. I started to feel, started to smile. It was a twisted smile, too large, too toothy, as I cut down on them, not always with the blades.

I don't know how long it took to clear the area of Titans, but clear it I did, before I found myself running to catch up with my herd of humans. I eventually jumped up onto a horse again. My feral grin was still fixed to my face as red steamed off my entire body, dousing me in smoke.

There was silence and I think almost every head was twisted to stare at me.

"...E-Everyone slow the horses to trot," called out the old man.

* * *

We caught up with the main group later that evening where they had camped out in a deserted village, not lighting many fires as they all tried to get as much sleep as they could. The dark chestnut coated horse snorted warily as I climbed down from it, ears flat back against its head as it held itself still.

"You did well today," I told it as I tied it up, brushing down its coat and soothing its aching limbs in unspoken thanks for its work. I would have to give him a proper boon for sacrificing his comfort to carry me, once he overcame his fear and was able to ask me.

Pokerface, Barker and the Oldman surrounded me as soon as their own horses were tied up for the night.

"You uh- you are full of surprises little one," said Oldman with a strange questioning look on his face. I just shrugged, looking around as I heard all the humans whispering to each other and staring, and sniffed the air faintly, looking for other familiar humans.

Ah, there...

There sat Flexer and the twins, next to Flaxen and several other familiar faces, lit up by a few small torches as they looked around themselves warily.

"Pride's dead," I told them as I entered their circle. They looked up at me with wide, hurt filled eyes, except for Flaxen, who was still staring at the earth.

"...Where's Freckles?" Asked Barker from behind me.

"She's...gone," said Jitterone, eyes shining as she looked up at us. "A- a man pulled her off her horse and used her as a shield."

"...Where is this man?" I asked quietly.

"In the belly of a Titan," said Fury firmly as Flaxen continued to look down at his open hands.

I knew that look. I sharply pulled the boy up and butted my head against his, looking deeply into his widening grey eyes. "Not. Your. Fault." I told him both in words and in thought. Behind me I felt Oldman and Pokerface exchange looks as I lowered the wide eyed boy to the ground. Tears started to spill out of his eyes and I motioned to Barker to comfort him, turning away to tiredly rub my forehead.

"We need to work out a better way of moving across the planes," Pokerface said, taking a seat.

"How? We have to follow orders, and the orders are for everyone to be jammed together like cattle. Once one person panics everyone does, and then it's like a meat grinder," Fury gritted out with a dark look.

"We all need to keep to the outside."

Everyone looked up at me in surprise as I spoke, not turning around as I looked past the fires, out into the darkness.

"But we'll be picked off in no time," Jitterone murmured nervously.

"No it makes sense. As Rita said, we'll get crushed when there's loads of people panicking," Oldman said with a thoughtful look, "by working in small groups of attackers and distracters we were able to take down many Titans as we moved."

"Didn't see you take anyone down," muttered someone just outside of the circle.

My hand lashed out and pulled a muscular man in by his thick neck, lifting him up so he could look down at me in breathless surprise as his brain caught up with the last three seconds. "The Oldman is the thinker. We protect him so he can see everything without distractions and give us ideas of where to go and what to do. You will not dare to try to shame him for saving your pitiful life." I threw the bulky, choking man back into the dark, not even looking as he scuttled away, reeking of fear.

"... Green eyes, you need to calm down," Pokerface murmured to me quietly. I felt a faint growl reverberate through my chest at this as I twisted to face Pokerface with an ugly look.

"Elyla..." Oldman looked at me worriedly.

My eyes flickered to him, then elsewhere as I turned my body away again, looking out at the black around us once more.

"...me, Jit and Fury did the attack and dis'ract thing too. It worked well, but there was lotsa people around gettin' in the way," murmured Flexer, breaking the long silence. "It'd probably be better to ride the ou'side."

Oldman hummed faintly, looking down at his crinkled hands, then back to the group of people staring expectantly up at him.

"... I think we need to make small teams of threes and fours and keep together to deal with each Titan, anymore and it gets too crowded," said the Oldman in a carefully slow tone.

I turned around at this and watched Flaxen who had looked up at these words with wide pain-filled eyes. All that deep, bubbling anger and slow beat of rage inside me felt slightly dampened as I watched the silent one-sided exchange.

"Right, Flaxen's with me then." I said, causing everyone to jump and stare at me. "Barker and Pokerface you're with us too. Pokerface you need to work on your aim, you're attacking tomorrow. Jitterone, Flexer and Fury will be together- Jit, you're distract. Oldman's coordinating."

Barker looked for a moment like he was considering arguing against this, his hand tight on Flaxen's shoulder, but he hesitated as he took in the expression on my face, simply nodding instead.

"Can we join your little gang too?" Asked a light male voice behind me.

In the faint torch light, I saw the three people from earlier today: the smart man with glasses, the quick shiny headed one who had just spoken and the grey haired maniac. "...yes, come sit down," I told them. Grey Maniac smiled at this and threw herself on the grass.

"My name's-" started the man with the glasses, but I held out my hand for them to stop with a small smile.

"Everyone. This is Sharp; he's a good distracter with great control of his horse. That is Speedy, also has good horse control and is good at distracting, but could be a great attacker given a bit of practice. And this is Grey Maniac; fucking great attacker but only when solo- yeah, you almost scalped Pokerface earlier, don't think I missed that."

The new trio seemed surprised by the renaming, except for the maniac, who just grinned lazily.

"Don' worry," said Flexer with a small huffing smile, when Sharp opened his mouth to complain, "itsa sign tha' she likes you."

"You all would probably do well as a team from what I saw today, both men on distract and the lady on attack," mused the old man.

"Ooh, 'Lady'. I haven't heard that one before," smiled the Maniac, "can I be called that instead?"

"Lady Maniac it is," Barker muttered loudly to my faint amusement. He didn't seem to have forgiven Pokerface's close shave earlier.

"Did anyone else see anyone promising today?" Oldman asked the group.

"It was a bit hard to tell where we were but I think I saw a pair of brothers who were good on their horses," said Jitterone with a thoughtful expression.

"There was a man in his fifties near me, built like a mountain. He helped keep the people around him calm," Flaxen contributed to everyone's surprise. Oldman nodded to him as the boy caught his eye defiantly.

"Right, you both go see if you can find them and bring them back here."

"Hey wait- aren't you guys forgetting the most 'promising' person here?" Lady Maniac asked as they stood up to go. Several eyes fell on me and I felt my bad mood return with a vengeance. "That girl's a weapon. I lost count how many of those fuckers she killed. What do they call you, hey? The berserker?"

I looked blankly at her for a moment before turning to the Oldman.

"Bah-z-er-k-er?" I asked testily.

"...Berserkers, they're uh- really fierce fighters from the old stories, often went into... trances to fight their enemies," Oldman told me.

I looked around in surprise at the confused look from those I hadn't fought alongside and the careful, wary looks of those who did. They thought I was one of the Úlfhéònar... I didn't quite know how to feel about that... I shook my head sharply. What did it matter what they thought of me as? I was a god and they were Mortals... I was getting too attached.

"I prefer green eyes," said Pokerface in a low carrying voice.

"Same, her eyes are beautiful," said Jitterone to Flexer's annoyance and Fury's amusement.

I scowled down at my feet, my cheeks feeling slightly warm.

"Haha! She's blushin'!" laughed Fury, twisted delight overcoming jealousy.

"Guys stop teasing Green Eyes," Barker whined as I turned away again, not noticing Flaxen getting up and quietly leaving the group. No, instead I was noticing the people all around us staring at the source of laughter with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"We're just telling her the truth," came the kind, smiling tone of Jitterone from behind me as Barker's complaints raised another octave.

That small grudging smile that was about to grace my lips faded into obscurity as I saw a trio of high ranking soldiers approaching us.

"That's her," one of them whispered, pointing at me.

"Cadet! The squad commander wants to see you!" Said the grumpy looking one in the middle in a pompous tone. I cocked an eyebrow at this but otherwise didn't move. Behind me the cheerful chatter of voices faded into tense silence.

"...You are to see him now!" The soldier shouted again. I continued not to reply.

"Elyla, you had better go with them," the Oldman quietly suggested, much to my displeasure.

"You go with her too, Oldman," said Pokerface. "I'll get everyone gathered."

"Make sure everyone has something to eat and gets enough sleep," I told him to what I think may have been his surprise (his eyes widened a fraction of a millimetre and he ever so slightly hesitated before he nodded.)

I had a bad feeling that I knew what I was wanted for as I made my way behind the three soldiers.

It was quite likely that the humans had been talking about what happened today. I couldn't quite bring myself to regret my actions, but I wished I had found a subtler way of doing it. This was where I needed Armin. I mean the old man was clever and all but he wasn't a patch on his grandson...

I shook my head sharply ignoring Oldman's odd look trying to shed these thoughts and focus on the men surrounding the large fire we were approaching.

It was immediately obvious who was in charge. He sat on a cushioned chair taken from one of the abandoned homes, just in front of the fire. He had a calculating, self-assured look to him. Or, at least, that was probably the air he was trying to give off. It didn't quite work with me. I could smell the stale scent of dry urine on his body.

"You wanted to see me," I stated, folding my arms as I observed the hollow cheeked man sitting before me.

"Sir," added the Oldman quickly, subtly jabbing me with his elbow.

I sighed internally and faced the squad leader again. "Sir," I parroted.

"Take a seat," he told me with a disinterested wave of his hand. He wasn't disinterested though; his eyes were sharp and attentive on me.

I really didn't want to take a seat on the log before him and be on a lower level but by the look the Oldman was sending me it would probably have been a bad idea to refuse.

"I've been hearing a few strange tales about you, soldier," the man said in an overly kindly voice once I was seated.

I'm not a soldier, you incompetent fool.

"Hmm?" I smiled tightly in a questioning way.

"Yes... interesting stories... care to tell me one of them? Such as the one where you took down more than ten Titans single handedly, on foot no less?" His voice came out faster now, a hint of excitement coming out of his even tone.

It was pretty clear what the human wanted from me now and, by the flash of worry on his face, it was clear Oldman realised too.

"Rumours have a tendency to be exaggerated," smiled Oldman with only a hint of nerves.

"Squad Leader is asking the woman, not you, old man!" the pompous underling from earlier butted in, to my deep displeasure.

This irritation must have been clear on my face, as the leader quickly sent the annoying man scuttling back with a wave of his hand.

"Exaggeration or no, I believe that you may have great potential. Tomorrow, you will ride with me and my next in command so you can better observe and learn from your superiors. That clear soldier?"

...Superiors...? Superiors?!

Before I could open my mouth to question why his cord was cut at birth instead of his neck, the old man started talking.

"She would be delighted to Squad Leader. If you'd allow us, we had better go get some rest now so we will be ready for tomorrow."

The "leader" nodded distractedly and waved us away as Oldman grabbed me and dragged me off.

"What the fuck, Oldman?" I spat once we were out of earshot, pulling my arm out of his grip.

"E- Elyla you need to treat your superiors with respect or they can make life really hard for you and for us. They will kill those who they think will put the mission at risk," the man sighed.

"Superiors?! That piss stained man is not my superior!" I growled quietly into his face, "He's the one who's making humans run like cattle. The only reason he wants me is so that he has another meat shield!"

"I know," he replied simply.

And just like that the fight went out of me. I pulled back out of the old man's space.

"Humans..." I sighed.

"...I know," Oldman said again with a twisted bitter smile. "But you can do good with those people, Ellen. Find out what they are planning, perhaps even talk them out of any more ridiculous ideas..."

We were both silent for a moment as we looked out at the camp ground. The torches were being put out as exhaustion overcame people's fear of tomorrow.

"Make sure that Flaxen doesn't kill himself... or anyone else," I found myself saying.

The Oldman nodded sadly. "I will."

"You as well, you're not to die. Keep in the middle of the group and give them orders."

"Same to you, don't die E- Ellen," he returned with a weary sigh that cut off when he heard me starting to laugh, low and bitter.

"I won't die."


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, so first things first: I am not dead. I think many of you were starting to wonder about that what with my appalling lack of updates and general all round silence. I've just been really REALLY run off my feet with new job stuff (YAY) and sorting out a new place to live and being an auntie and driving tests and parents evenings and SO MUCH DATA HANDLING. I've also been having one of the biggest writer blocks in my life with the AOT fandom. I still love it, don't get me wrong, but it's been really hard to write for, for some reason. I'm not giving up though. I'm filled with determination to finish Earth, get back to the Hunter and get started with some other story ideas I have. I can't promise I will be able to do so in the next month or so as I am crazy busy but I'm going to try my best.  
Thanks for everyone who's read this or messaged me, thank you for everyone who's being so lovely and patient and sticking with me, I don't know what I did to deserve you

xxxx

* * *

I didn't die. I wouldn't have had a chance to at the front, even if I wasn't a god.

Over the first few weeks, I often found myself wedged up in the front, surrounded by the ' _higher ups.'_ As we rode, most of the Titans who approached went for those behind us, those who were slower or closer to the edge where they could be picked off more easily. I don't know the number of humans in the procession that were lost over this time. I just know the number was too high.

During the first week of this bloodbath, my suggestions were ignored by the 'more experienced' and I quickly lost what very, _**very**_ little esteem I had for their decision making skills as we blindly charged forwards, past the forests I once flew through and out across the open plains. After one last attempt to steer the discussion only to be told to 'not worry my little head', I finally made my decision about what I would do.

It basically could be summed up as: _fuck this shit._

In the weeks and months that followed, when I could, I let myself get lost in the crowd of humans, pulling myself back to the mass behind me before those at the front realized. There was a young woman there with bright blonde, almost white, hair who gave me brief but sincere smiles every time I left my horse with her. I would then jump from horse to horse, step light as I made my way through the rushing mash of humans, pulling people from the grip of the abominations, and slicing down on those I could reach as I made my way down to Oldman.

"You slip away early today, hun?" Lady Manic would ask me each time with her patented toothy grin.

"Green eyes, there's an aberrant heading in on the left!" shouted Far-Eyes, the blond mountain of a man that Flaxen had suggested on that first night. I thought Mountain was a better name but the others came up with Far-Eyes before me so I just rolled with it-

"Got it, Far-Mountain!"

\- most of the time.

Far-Eyes and Oldman were a good team. Far-Eyes gave information and protected him if worst came to worst, while Oldman concentrated on coordinating everyone. They had even managed to keep Flaxen from getting killed for a while. It became clear to many that this wasn't sustainable though as the days rolled by and the boy became less and less like himself. Everyone started to recognise the dead man walking as he filled himself with more and more reckless anger until one day he ignored the Oldman's order not to attack...

I wasn't there for that. I was still at the front, trying to drop back under the fearful leader's distrustful gaze. I wasn't even able to meet the two brothers that joined the group. They lasted only one more day before one was eaten and the other fell into the stampede of horses.

I was there though when Speedie and Sharp were eaten and when Jitterone was killed, cut in half by Titan teeth when her gear failed halfway into an attack. I could hear the echo of Flexer and Fury's screams every time I closed my eyes for a long time after that. It was only Pokerface's quick reaction to this that saved them from a similar fate...

 **But** Far Eyes and Oldman were a great team. I was happy to take their suggestions on where and when to attack as I made my way around the horses. Throughout the herd of humans, people had started to keep horses who had lost their owners saddled and free for me to pause on as I stopped to gain my bearings. Of course my little trips weren't going unnoticed and _un-fucking-surprisingly_ those dust-for-brains morons in the front weren't too supportive of this.

Even at night, they had taken to keeping me near them so I couldn't sneak away and lose myself in the masses for when morning came. This was especially annoying as it stopped me from swapping ideas or discussing tactics with my humans. I was instead to sit next to the fire they built to keep off the frosted night winds as I was presented offerings of food and the leader spoke to me about pointless stuff that, most of the time, I tuned out. I never accepted the offerings but I would later steal the food to hand out to those I would pass by when dancing over the horses the next day.

Then, one day, I decided I had enough. Well, actually, I had been having enough for a while now -pretty much since that first day. No, on _this_ day I decided to _really_ do something. On the day when the deviant Titans attacked as one.

* * *

The horses were supposed to be running slower that day. The ground was thick with ice and a small coating of snow made keeping control at high speeds was much more difficult. Though people didn't seem to care too much about those orders when the new horde of Titans caught up with them.

Even upwind of it, I smelt the blood behind me but I was squashed in the centre of the herd and unable to move in time to counteract the first deviant Titan attack.

It scuttled on all fours, steam billowing up from where it stepped on patches of snow in its stampede. It threw itself into the centre of the herd as it squashed human and horse alike and proceed to scoop unprecedented numbers of them into its gaping jaw. As the humans scattered and panicked, the other Titans moved in. There were five in total, including the deviant. I was already telling my horse to drop back when the captain's clammy, skeletal hand clamped down on my arm.

"They're lost, keep on moving. We can survive if we keep moving."

Staring at the red-rimmed, shadowed eyes trying to bore a hole into me, suddenly, I understood. My mouth fell slack and my eyes grew wide. **d**.

I knew now why we had been avoiding refuge in forests all this time, why all those humans had been made to run in such an impractical formation, why they tried to make me stay at the front with them where I was not needed, away from all those who needed me.

The man before me didn't _want_ the humans to survive. He wanted them to be eaten away, to be culled down to what the government would think of as an acceptably low number, so when he finally fled back, tail curled between his piss stained legs, he wouldn't be barred from the walls.

It was sick. He was sick.

I stared at him, considering yanking him bodily off his saddle to fall into the mercy of those blood stained teeth he was so happy to feed with the innocent.

" _ **You cannot attack the military for any reason,**_ _"_ she had said _._

I didn't need to, though. My eyes twisted past him to fix on the huge galloping Titan heading straight to the front group, one arm twisted and deformed up its back, the other too long for its body, pounding at the ground to give it extra speed. Soon enough, the leader was distracted by maneuvering his human herd to go a different way. The Titan wasn't distracted though, and headed for the group that quickly found itself separated from the main mass of humans by the Titans behind them.

I pulled back before the man could grab at me again and spurred the courageous horse beneath me, who was finally getting somewhat used to carrying a god on its shoulders, to great speeds towards the massacre behind.

Gently, I leapt up off of the animal, running at full speed towards those _things_ , cutting the tendons in their legs in quick succession before spinning back and slicing down on their napes. I felt my mouth frozen steady in the expression of shock and revulsion that had taken it earlier, where it would usually have stretched and curved up in deadly glee as I approached my target. My movements were in no way hampered by my revelation though. If anything, they were fuelled by it as I quickly danced and swung around the deviant Titan to messily slice off the legs and arms before jumping up and cutting- hacking- deep into the thing's back.

A strange, shiny eyed smile started to creep over my face as I dissected the thing below me, ignoring its stupid, pitiful mewls and screams.

I wrenched out another chunk of bone, painting myself in the sloppy yellow mess of its spinal fluid as I carved into its stomach- only to discover an interesting development. Three of the mortals were still alive...

I pulled them out, not even looking at them as I swung their bloodied bodies onto my shoulder and swiftly jumped back up to stamp down on the deviant's neck with one harsh movement.

A familiar face pulled up his horse next to the dissolving body. It took me a moment to focus on him but quickly found myself amused to see the man staring at me with the widest fucking eyes I'd ever seen on his face. I swear you could _almost_ see the whites.

"Pokerface! Take this one, I'll carry the others," I shouted. He nodded jerkily, taking the white haired girl from my hands. It was only then that I recognized the woman who had so often looked after my horse. I wondered vaguely if she would live; she seemed to have lost her right arm and a large chunk of her left leg. I quickly got the humans on my horse, quietly calming it as it struggled under their combined weight.

"Follow me, Oldman has led everyone west. Far-Eyes saw a large forest that way," Pokerface told me as I drew level with him.

"That forest over there? The butchers from the front have gone that way too. They have a fifteen meter after them," Pokerface paused then nodded in understanding, I didn't really need to say any more than that.

Technically, within the parameters of the first wish I was still fulfilling, I should've tried to save those humans, too, but I quickly decided the humans in my arms took precedence. Speaking of which, one had just died. Too much blood loss. I let the body fall off the horse, lightening the load as I concentrated on the other, running a free hand over her bloodied head and large stomach. I felt Pokerface's gaze but ignored it as we rode side by side.

It actually took me a while to completely register that it wasn't in fact just me, Pokerface and the two females. Behind us about twenty humans had been following. I heard them, but quickly dismissed the noise as non-threatening and therefore not important as we made our way to the forest.

I can't tell you exactly what I was thinking, I was too busy feeling as the wind blew hard through my hair and the heated body below my hands throbbed and struggled for consciousness. I quickly quieted her sobbing breaths, hushing soft meaningless sounds into her large red ears. Actually, her whole body seemed to be reddening, swelling with slow bursts of red and white over her tanned skin. I started to think again as I looked over at Pokerface and the white haired woman who seemed to be suffering similarly, but not to the same extent. Pokerface seemed more concerned with the severed arm, however, tying strips of his shirt just above the mashed up flesh and pulling tight as he rode.

This was when I finally noticed the other humans, riding their horses as fast as they could after us. I couldn't pay them much attention though as I soon saw the three Titans running at us from behind, one of which I recognised as the deviant who attacked the front herd from earlier. Even further back, I could see a much larger horde of the abominations approaching. A growl curled on my tongue.

"We need to keep going! We're not far from the forest," Pokerface shouted at me, causing me to hesitate.

The first of those things were getting closer, one picking off several humans who lagged behind, horses too exhausted to carry them on no matter how despairingly loud they screamed and spurred at them.

"Take her!" I shouted to Pokerface as I dropped back by his side, foisting the swelling woman in front of him and the silver haired girl. I ignored what he was now shouting as I threw the reins at him, jumped off my horse, and awaited those things who thought themselves able to eat me.

They who had caused so many pointless deaths. They who had killed those under my care. They who thought they could take on a **fucking god!?**

The sky spread achingly wide above my head, the earth below me tunneled to inconceivable depths- and there I stood, balanced on the knife edge between these two domains, watching as my pitiful adversaries approached.

Horses rushed by me like clouds in the sky. Claw- like desperate hands grabbed and grasped at me but they were slow, like the trickle of thick sap, easy to avoid.

 _I will kill you. I will devour you all._

The thin lips on my human form curved up as I faced my prey, full of feeling. Feeling, not thinking.

I ran forwards and-

-dug in, flesh splitting under-

-blood arching up-

-shimmering little red spheres of juicy-

-grass swirling up to-

-soft and warm in our mouth, ripping into tiny str-

-a hand reaching...know that ha- -pulls on-

-fur and sweat flexing under our-

-W _e see you_ -

-"No! What are yo-

-bursts in our hands with golden-

-slow, green lives spiralling up-

-Eren," they whisper-

... **...** _ **...**_


	4. Chapter 4

I have so many ideas running round my head now it is almost impossible to find the time to write them all but gosh darn it am I gonna try! Here's an update for you lovelies. You make it a delight to write, thank you.

* * *

I don't know how long it took me to start to think again but when I did, trees surrounded me and there was a wrinkled hand on mine, covered in faint age freckles and deep veins. A voice was calling one of my names sharply, over and over.

"Oldman?" I blinked several times then focused on my human who seemed to be letting out a deep sigh of relief. I blinked and looked around, as he turned to murmur something to someone else, and observed my surroundings in more depth than just ' Trees'.

A massive redwood forest surrounded us, much like the one the scouts used to go to but with thicker branches and much less space between the trees. We were on a large branch, high above the ground; I'd have estimated twenty meters if I was in any state of mind to estimate. On the branches around us many humans stood, huddled together for warmth, all eyes focused, all eyes watching. It wasn't every human there though; I could smell a large number further into the forest, probably looking after the horses and setting up camp somewhere.

I then turned to focus on the ring of humans immediately around me, gazing at me with a range of emotions varying from painfully sincere hope to deep, disgusted loathing. I met the eyes of this source of hatred, not finding myself surprised when I recognised the figure that held the most of it.

" _You_... You abandoned us! You abandoned your Squad Leader! You killed them! _You killed us_!" The officer spat, held back by one of his colleagues who seemed to be perspiring heavily and avoiding looking at me directly. My thoughts started to clear as I stared at the once pompous man who had shouted at the Oldman. Memories trickled slowly through my mind and I looked up at him sharply.

"...You mean that piss man that told me abandon my humans, that they were 'lost'?" I asked him in a mild voice, rubbing my head against the ache building there.

A ripple of whispers echoed through the trees as everyone heard what I said. The pompous man seemed to loose capability of speech as he lunged forwards, drawing his blade out with a high pitched scream. Before I could even blink, several different blades were pointed forwards. I turned to observe the Oldman, Fury and Flexer standing behind me with their blades pointing out. Several other humans I had never spoken too did the same beside them, faces fierce and set against him. Far eyes and Barker had stepped in behind the man and also raised their blades to his throat as he stopped, mere seconds from his demise.

"I'm the second in command! Now in charge after this huh-ore killed Squad leader Kirkan. Stand down or this _will_ be considered mutiny you-!"

"What did you just call her?!" Shouted Barker at the same time as Far Eyes growled out:

"So you can kill her? No chance,"

"That thing is a monster! I'm only putting down a rabid dog!"

"...what is going on?" I asked the Oldman confusedly.

"Hah! Like you don't bloody remember! _You left us !_ I just saw you take down more than fifteen of those things and you didn't even _try_ to help us! We've lost the wagons because of you!" Spat the man, struggling against the people holding him but shying back as Barker's blade nipped at his skin.

A flurry of gasps and hissed whispers whistled through the forest, like a heart freezing wind. The wagons were what carried what little food they had left, the weapons and the gas. Without them it was likely every- no- everyone would die. The humans looked at me with open mouths and wide eyes, some crying, some full of rage and some torn down the middle of anger and fear.

"Everyone calm down," shouted out Oldman, sending me a quick 'we will talk later' look. "Night is nearly here and we need everyone to help make camp. I'll need volunteers to keep a watch on the horses. Everyone else- join the rest of the squad and anchor yourselves to a thick branch. Try to get some rest and-"

"What good will that do us now?!" Cried out a voice.

"Why should we listen to you _old_ man!?" Someone else fearfully screamed out.

I slowly turned my head to face where that voice came from- expression blank and eyes unblinking- and a hush came over the humans. Then another voice sounded out, loud and panic filled.

"Commander, did you really loose the wagons?"

"It wasn't Green! She came back to help the rest of us! It was the others who lost them!" Shouted another human from somewhere to my right.

"But you've seen her! She's amazing. She could have taken down all of them and gone back! Why didn't she?!"

Voices sprang up left, right and centre; all demanding answers to countless questions. I could see that obnoxious angry soldier smirking bitterly at me from the corner of my eye.

"Hey! All of you," I said, my voice irritable but carrying in the sudden silence as everyone watched me stand tall to stare them down. "I will go get the equipment once the sun sets. Everyone happy?"

The sudden silence was good enough of an answer for me as I turned away from them and sat back down, back against the trunk of the tree. I could feel the obnoxious soldier staring at me with surprise, quickly devolving into anger. He obviously hadn't expected me to do that.

"Everyone just go get some bloody sleep!" Shouted out Far Eyes, breaking the silence in a grumpy voice. "We still need twenty volunteers for the horses so those who aren't dropping off as we speak stay back!"

"John will you be okay here for a moment? I need to talk to E- Eury."

Far Eyes nodded, not taking his flashing eyes off the man beneath his blade.

"Make sure no one kills each other while I'm gone," The Oldman belatedly added.

"No promises," muttered Barker, fist tightening over his blade. He deflated slightly at the stern look the Oldman gave him though. "Okay, fine, Ipromise."

"Come on _Eury_ ," the Oldman muttered to me, offering a hand to pull me up that I pointedly ignored. "We're going to visit someone and have a little talk."

* * *

To my unpleasant surprise the 'someone' included an unexpectedly bloodied, familiar face.

"Pokerface! What happened to him?!" I asked as I saw the ginger haired man, propped up against the tree trunk, on the branch below us, head and right eye heavily bandaged and face slack.

"I was hoping you could tell me. He came back with these two women tied to his horse, riding yours with you sitting in front of him. He has a crushed foot and is missing an eye, two fingers and a lot of blood,"

I looked blankly at the Oldman then back to Pokerface. On another branch below us, the two women were being attended to, both unconscious but clearly alive.

...I couldn't remember. Why couldn't I remember?

"...I know that you are trying to help but you're starting to worry m- us."

"...you're scared of me..." I found myself saying, still staring at the unconscious figure below.

 _ **" I- I am scared but... You... You saved us. You're my friend."**_

 _ **"I'm not scared of you."**_

"I'm scared for you," the Oldman whispered."You seem to be slipping Eren."

 _What does that mean? Slipping? How could I, a god, be slip- wait..._

"... Eren ?" I asked, turning to stare at the Oldman with startled eyes. The Oldman met my eyes with a faint nod.

"I knew it. You have the exact same eyes- don't deny it Eren. You're angry at almost everyone and everything just like he- you were."

I just continued to stare at the man, mouth clamped up like a vice.

"Is Armin alone then?" the Oldman asked in a too calm a tone. I finally found my voice, licking my lips as I spoke.

"M-Mikasa is with him. I left them both something to protect them- How long have you known?"

"I'm not sure. I first started to think about it the night before we left, when you ducked away from my hand just like he did. You swing your legs the same, you even have the same forced smile. Your eyes though. They were the biggest clue... For a bit I thought I was being old or senile, then I thought about relatives but you were too similar. Then perhaps I thought you were wearing some really realistic disguise...but that's not it," He told me in an almost tired voice, looking at me strangely. "You're not human are you?"

I shook my head silently, my eyes still fixed on his.

"Of course you haven't exactly been hiding it. We all saw you lift a man three times you weight like he was a feather; you have taken down more Titans we can count, with no help and no gear..." The man stopped, hesitating before he indulged his curiosity. "Are you a spirit or a demon or-"

"What the-? Of course not!" I shouted out angrily, throwing my hands in the air as I snapped my head away from him and sat down in a huff. _A demon?!_ _ **Me?**_ _How dare he?_

There was a long silence as the Oldman watched me warily and I glared into a distance, pulling my legs into my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

"So from what I have seen you can run very fast, fast as a horse, don't need to sleep or eat, are amazingly strong and agile and can change your appearance. Anything else you can do?" He asked with a faint confused chuckle.

"I can grant requests, control the earth and make life from it... among other things," I muttered, smoke winding down my body as my body shrank down, black hair lightening into brown and curling away into wisps of smoke. The old man froze, gazing at me in my male form with a glazed look in his eyes.

"...The miracle field..those rioters who left us alone, Mikasa's kidnappers... Was it all you?"

I shrugged, contemplating the people down below me. Bloodied bandages bright and glaring to my eyes. My eyes flickered to the bandage on Pokerface's head and felt a strange golden warmth curl in on my chest. A slow horrible truth dawned on me.

"I didn't... did I?"

"You didn't what? Eren?"

 _I can feel a sacrifice on him. What did he sacrifice? When did he- What the hell is happening? I didn't give him anything though, did I? I can't remember. WHY CAN'T I? Am I turning mad like the gods of the red fields? But why? I'm not one of them! Those gods who forget themselves in their torment of humans in the blood and the -bloodandthefleshandthepoweroftheirlaststrugglingbreathsastheyaretuggedintotheblack!WhosuccumbtotheirbloodyangerandI' -_

"Eren! Calm down!" shouted Oldman's voice, snapping me out of the blinding fog.

"I make deals," I turned to face the man kneeling by my side with a fearful expression on his face, "I take something that a mortal finds valuable then give them something equal to it. Like Armin gave me tribute of food that he needed to keep you safe. But I don't remember taking sacrifice from Pokerface. I can feel it though! I don't know what's happening to me!" I sought an answer to my terrified questions from the surprised face of the mortal in front of me as he ...just...stared back...

 _Oh... mortal..._ how would he know when I don't? I thought to myself. _Damn how can I expect him to-_

A hand came out in front of me, holding something out for me.

"You make deals right?" The Oldman asked. In his hand there was a lock of blond hair, it's scent almost faded but still distinct.

" _Armin_..." I whispered, staring at the lock of hair with wide eyes. "You would sacrifice this?"

"What- what would I get for this?" The man asked in a hesitant voice.

"Many things," I returned, looking up from the hair to his face "I am already sworn to protect you and those humans that I can from the Titans."

"Okay... I want for you to listen to me. Listen to those who care for you. No matter how lost you think you are, even if you cannot talk or hear or think, you must come back to them, listen and think again."

My breath came out long and heavy from my chest and I faintly smiled at the man before me.

"Humans... You just keep surprising me," I muttered.

"Deal?" The man asked, hesitantly placing the lock of his Grandson's hair on my open hand, frail fingers trailing over it. I leaned forward quickly, kissing his cheek and taking the sacrifice.

"Your request is granted," I smiled largely, hugging him to my chest, much to his surprise, as the warm glow of the promise filled us both. After a moment he returned the hug.

"You scared me there little one," he told me, ruffling my hair before quickly freezing, probably remembering he wasn't noogying a human.

"It's fine, I'm fine," I told him with a smile as I pulled back from his hug. The smile faded quickly as I looked down again at the bloodied form of Pokerface, swinging my legs over the edge as I peered down at him. "...I owe him too,"

"I don't think you should tell him, or the others yet. They aren't likely to react well," he warned me, sitting down next to me, his legs dangling over the branch edge next to mine. I could feel his eye travelling over my youthful face. "It's so strange to see such old eyes staring out of a child's face."

"Not a child," I muttered "I was fifteen, a man."

The Oldman jolted as I spoke and began to say something but I forestalled them with my hand, black smoke swirling up around me as my face broadened and stretched, hair stretched out and settled into long black locks and my arms swirled with black ink.

"That better?" I asked with a roll of my eyes as my older female form settled back around me.

"...Eren, what was that you sa-"

"The large woman is waking up," I interrupted him, pointing at the other branch as I stood up and shot off my cables. As I landed I heard the old man hurriedly whispering a warning.

"Whatever you do don't give her the name 'large woman'."

I rolled my eyes, ignoring him as I approached the woman and a human who was helping prop her up. The woman was struggling against the man, letting out panicked yelps, still half in her dreams.

"Let me," I told the man who quickly scuttled back as I knelt down in front of the woman.

Her eyes were unfocused as she continued to twist in my unmoving arms. Her pale amber skin was scarred with red and white burns, twisting and crossing over her long thin face where her burning tears streamed down.

"Hey there little one," I crooned, bringing my forehead to hers, puffing a hot breathe across her face.

The woman instantly stilled and melted into my arms as I hummed out sweet sounds into her mind.

It took several minutes before she could speak again.

"W-where am I?" She finally spoke, "I was... oh god! I was eaten! I fell down its throat! I saw my- Oh- how- how am I alive?" She exclaimed in shock and confusion, agitation building up again only to fade away as I cradled her face in my palms.

"I cut open the Titan and pulled you and the white haired woman out," I said, nodding down at other woman beside her. "There was a man too but he lost too much blood."

There was a gasp from the man who attending the injured but I ignored him, focusing on the shocked woman instead. Slowly I breathed in and frowned.

"You better get some rest," I told her quietly before pulling back, allowing her to see me properly, her eyes focused then widened as she seemed to recognise me. "Green Eyes?"

"Why does everyone know that nickname?" I asked the Oldman bemusedly.

"What else do people have to talk about? You're too modest Er- uh Eury," The Oldman chuckled and shook his head.

I snorted. I wasn't modest at all. Hello, God? There wasn't anything to be modest about. I turned and looked out at the darkening forest. It was probably time for me to head out soon. I made to leave but was stopped as a pair of hands found mine.

"Thank you. Oh god, thank you, thank you," the woman was crying, pulling my hand to her cheek.

"Uhh... Right..." I turned to look at the Oldman who shrugged, eyes dancing with amusement at my discomfort. "You're- uh- you are welcome mother," I told the woman who blinked rapidly at her name.

"Mother?" She asked in surprise.

"Oldman, make sure she rests. The infant seems to be fine but she should still take some time off her duties."

"Don't say things like that," the Oldman chided me with a red face. "She's not that- uh I mean to say-"

"No, she's with child," I corrected "she smells like she's uh- what's the word- a mother to be. She needs to eat more and it will become clear." With that I smiled at the look of shock on their faces, shot off my gear and waved goodbye to them.

While Oldman sorted all that out I'd go get a head start on finding those carriages everyone was so stressed about. It was probably dark enough by now, I doubted many of the Titans would still be up.

* * *

It was early morning, just before dawn by the time I came back to the eaves of the forest, pulling the one undamaged waggon I could find behind me by hand, irritably battling my hair as the wind yet again threw it in front of my face. I never seemed to notice its length when fighting or leaping through the air. I only noticed when there was less to distract me and the wind thought it was a fucking good idea to blow it into my mouth. This was one of the reasons I preferred my form with short hair. It got a bit better though as I made my way through the trees, weaving around jutting roots and tall bushes.

"Green's back!" Called out a voice above me as I passed under a particularly tall tree. In no time there was the sound of many zips and clangs as a group of them surrounded me. Several of them I only recognised vaguely but Barker, Oldman and Flexer were easy to spot as they quickly made their way to the front of the crowd.

"Hunter! You're okay!" Exclaimed Flexer with a relieved grin.

"E-Eury, where have you-?" Started the Oldman only to be interrupted by a furious looking Barker.

"Why did you go like that?! You couldn't have told us you were going out there?"

I froze, wagon straps still tight across my shoulders, as I looked at them with surprise.

"...I forgot," I blurted out only to get several reproving looks. Yeah it was weak and I knew it. The others didn't seem to notice this though, more interested in the contents of the waggon.

"She got all the weapons and gas!" Called out one in a joy filled voice.

"And the food! We've got the food reserves back!" Shouted out another.

"Where are the others, Commander?" a shy looking man asked, not quite meeting my eyes as he hesitantly spoke to me.

"The other caravans were smashed to pieces. I picked up everything that wasn't too broken and put it on this one."

"There's a lot of food here," said the Oldman giving me a knowing look.

Many of the humans didn't realise this but we were running low even before the attack.

Most of the humans were given dried food for their own use to carry, with the wagons holding a back up supply. However the expeditions weren't expected to survive beyond more than a few months at most and the humans supplied food with that in mind. I had realised this after I had joined the higher soldiers but had only told the Oldman. So it was only the Oldman and a few of the higher ranking soldiers who would be able to call me on the fact that there was enough rice and dried beans to last another two months packed tight into the huge wagon. Oldman would see to it that those 'higher ranking soldiers' didn't see this though. I watched with a smirk as he quickly ordered the dry food to be taken out and distributed out for everyone to carry.

"Commander why did you go by yourself, really?" Asked Barker, coming up to stand by my side as we watched everyone scramble to take the food and supplies. I opened my mouth to answer but was quickly cut off as he began to speak again. " Please tell me the truth."

"...I _did_ just forget. But I would have done the same anyway. I'm here to save every person I can from those Titans. I don't want anyone else to die Bar-"

" We don't want **you** to die though!" He blurted out, staring at me with his huge, round eyes. Taken aback I didn't have a response to this, simply looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"Barker! Go take these sharpening stones up to the main camp," Flexer called out, pulling the suddenly sullen looking boy away from me.

"He's too young..." I found myself saying to Flexer as she came to stand beside me.

"He's sixteen -least that's what he keeps saying..." Flexer murmured, as we watched the boy reluctantly leave. Flexer shook her head and let out a huge sigh. "I hate all this shit, I really do Green Eyes, but I have to agree with him. Just please keep us in the loop next time you want to go off on your lonesome," she said, giving me a strangely serious look. "We can't loose you too."

I nodded ever so faintly and she left, going to help the others.

* * *

The distribution of supplies and equipment had to soon be put on hold however as the sun rose and it was no longer safe for people on the ground. I shot my cables into the next tree and sat down on a branch, unconcernedly watching a small Titan as it mournfully scratched at the bark of the thick tree base.

"It seems that the trees are too close together for the bigger ones to get through," came a voice from above. I looked up to see Lady Maniac smiling down from her perch above me as she idly swung her legs back and forth.

"Aren't you supposed to be on guard duty?" I asked her, turning back to stare at the gormless monster below.

"Oh I am. I'm guarding you, sugar. Seems like not everyone's too happy about you, the Oldman and the Mountain taking charge."

"I don't need guarding," I said with a incredulous frown.

"Hell that's what I said. You'd just rip the bollocks off anyone who tried to mess with you," she commented with an approving grin. "Still, beats watching over the 'captain'."

I nodded vaguely before standing up to make my way towards that man's stale, fury stained scent. I needed to find out what was happening about that.

It seemed like many of the others felt the same, as when we got to the main tree there was a large crowd of quietly whispering people in the trees encircling the self appointed captain. Lady Manic and I watched silently from a high branch as the Oldman turned from the man to address everyone.

"Alright! We have several options from this point on! Eury has brought back the food supplies and weapons so we can leave this forest and continue with our effort to reclaim wall Maria as this... man is insistent that we do!" Oldman called out, throwing the man by his side a carefully blank look, "or we can spend a few more days here, regrouping and allowing the injured to recov-"

"We have wasted too much time already!" Shouted out the pompous man giving the Oldman an ominous glare. I was rather surprised to see that he wasn't bound anymore.

"Why isn't he tied up?" I whispered to Lady Manic.

"Your Oldman, seems to think he could convince the bah-stead to share his role of captain so there wouldn't be a "mutiny" and fighting. Too bad it looks like he's trying to backstab him now they've got a big enough crowd," she replied with a smile. Her smirk didn't quite reach her eyes though as she intently watched the scene before us. The Oldman was indeed quickly whispering something to the captain with a deep frown creasing his face.

"Do you all want this self appointed senile old man to lead you?! Or would you rather have the person who was **chosen** and **trusted** by the previous squad leader, help you all?!" The man shouted out, ignoring the Oldman's whispers and striding forward with strong, confident movements.

There was a ripple of whispers spreading through the crowd, just louder than the sound of the wind rustling through the trees. No one had decided yet though, simply watching to see how this played out.

"I can lead you correctly like I was trained to-" the man started again, smug smile on his lips as he sensed everyone's unease, only to be interrupted as Barker walked up to him, radiating righteous fury.

"Lead? You can't even lead sheep! I heard you planning with your men earlier. When we leave you want to send out a group of us off first as Titan bait so YOU can get a head start on them!" The young boy spat.

"Uh-oh," Lady Manic murmured in a sing-song voice, eyes focused on the vein popping out of the man's forehead.

"I never- how- how **dare you** spread such insolent lies!? Insubordination!"

Then Barker did something stupid. He kept on going.

"You're not the commander! You wanted to kill our Green Eyes! You can't lead us! You can't save us! You couldn't even save the last leader!" He all but screamed.

I was moving even before the vile man drew his blade out, his anger overwhelming all common sense. I didn't notice Lady Manic shooting after me, all I noticed was the arch of the blade and that no one had moved to pull the boy out of the way. Gasps rippled out from around me as I held the boy tight into my body, my left forearm inches from his face with the metal blade deeply embedded, a trickle of black blood weeping down my arm.

I stared at my arm with wide eyes. It cut me. How did it cut me?

"COMMANDER!"

"You tried to kill a boy?!"

"You attacked Green?!"

"How dare you!?"

"Is Green Eyes alright?!"

The sound of shouts and insults and anger filled the forest as I looked up from the blade to meet the man's eyes, staring at my black blood then at me with pure terror. Then our gaze was shattered as a blade lodged itself through the man's throat, splattering me with blood.

Lady Manic drew back her blade and started cleaning it with a mild mannered look as the man collapsed in a soft fountain of his own body fluids. You could have heard a dropped pin in the silence.

"C'mon, who else didn't want to do that?" She asked the crowd in a no nonsense tone.

"Lady..." Murmured Oldman with a strange mix of a disappointed sigh and soft warning.

"Ooh you give me shivers when you call me Lady," she winked at him.

The people around us were starting to wake up from the shock now and quickly the Oldman started addressing them again. By this point I had stopped listening though, eyes glued to the deep cut on my arm as I numbly released my grip on Barker. Barker seemed numb as well, simply stating into the space where my arm had been moments ago, before suddenly snapping out of it, spinning around and ripping off his coat to stem the bleeding. He didn't even seem to notice the colour of my blood in his frenzy. Either that or he didn't care as he stared at me with wide terrified eyes, repeatedly asking if I was okay then calling for help.

I wasn't listening. It cut me. Metal can cut me? I had never let a blade touch me before. I always thought I would be invulnerable to it like I was with everything else.

"Eren come back to me."

I blinked twice and looked up at the worried face of Oldman as his blue eyes repeatedly flickered from my arm to my face.

"You need to let them know you're okay," he whispered again, "I'm sorry but we need you. Help us."

I nodded numbly and stood up with his help, just noticing Barker stand up with me, his hands glued to my arm as he put pressure on my injury...

 _My... injury..._

I shook my head sharply, think about that later. For now I had to stop these idiot Humans from panicking. I almost felt like laughing at the absurdity of it all- me trying to stop humans from panicking?- but the sharp sting in my arm cut that feeling to the quick. I stood tall, looking around the fearful angry crowds. Among these humans were a few who had been in the riots, I had recognised their fearful angry stench a long time ago, and I could smell it once more. Right... I had to be smart about this.

"All you lot! Shut the hell up!" I called out.

Brilliant Eren. .. I could feel Far Eyes and Oldman slam their heads into their hands behind me as Flexer and Fury incredulously goggled at me from the side. Surprisingly they did quiet down though, watching me with palatable surprise as I tried to think of what the hell to say to these humans to stop them from going nuts and go on a lynching spree.

"What is your shouting and arguing going to do? Look here! This... This is the first time I've been hurt since we got out here. Not one time before have I been caught by Titan teeth or by another person's blade. Do you all know why that is?" No one answered me but I could see the hopeful trepidation splayed openly on many of their faces, hearts on their sleeves as I belted out my words. "It's **not** because I am strong. It's **not** because I am fast. And it is **NOT** because I am without fear! It is because of those I have around me! I am alive because I have help when I fight the enemy. That is why all of you are alive after almost four months! FOUR months! ...It's about fucking time for some introductions!"

I waved my uninjured arm for those around me to step forwards, and without hesitation they did.

"This here is Barker patching up my arm, bloody fantastic at distracting Titans so others can kill them without getting hurt. This is Lady Manic- I have seen her pull a person right out of a Titan's mouth and has more kills than I can count." I shouted out, clapping my hand on Lady Manic's shoulder as she gave me a feral grin.

"This mountain of a man here, you named him Far Eyes because he can see for miles and let's us know when Titans are coming, he's deadly with a blade and can go on using it as long as a horse can run! Fury and Flexer here are as deadly as my blades and will fuck up any Titan that so much as looks at them. And finally this here is Oldman. You wanna know why I call him Oldman?"

The silence was tantalising as I stopped and looked around, every single eye was on me. I couldn't stop yet, I had to keep going.

"Because he knows more than any young man ever could! He is the center! He tells us where to go and when to attack. He has saved lives with his judgement, time and time again!" I shouted out, voice echoing through the white, snow dusted forest.

"There are more though. More people who have helped try to keep those who ride beside them alive. There are too fucking many to name and isn't that amazing?! Now I don't know every one of you yet but I do know I don't want to loose any more of you. I made a promise to save as many people as I can! And I will do it again HERE AND NOW! But I need your help! Will you help me? Help those beside you?"

"...yes," came several voices.

"Will you help?!" I repeated again, louder this time.

"Yes!" Shouted more and more of them.

I grinned, eyes wide as I looked around at them as many of them, almost all, started to shout out yes one after another.

"Alright! Oldman and Far Eyes here have some ideas of what we're gonna do next! Anyone got anything they wanna say or ideas you wanna add put up their hand and Far Eyes will see you!"

I nodded to Oldman and Far Eyes as they stepped forward to address the masses, Old Man nodding at me with a grateful smile. I stepped back and let Fury and Barker pull me down to sit, listening as Oldman told everyone his plan of recuperating and looking for food and water supplies then scouting the forest eves to determine what to do next.

"Good speech there, knew you had it in you," said Fury, trying to look at my arm.

"Really? I was just talking out my ass for most of it," I joked, pulling the arm in closer to my body so she couldn't see it the black stained material covering it.

"I'll take her to the healer," said Lady Manic, standing over us, meeting Barker's glare steadily until he faintly conceded and nodded.

"You two, keep an eye on everyone and protect the Oldman. There will be some idiots who didn't listen to me," I muttered to them as I softly pried Barker's hands off my arm.

"Th- thanks Green," said Barker quietly. He smiled, small but sweet, before turning to Lady manic and thanking her too.

"Everyone here's becoming the biggest saps I swear," muttered Lady Manic as we shot off our gear and left the tree.

* * *

Pokerface and Whitehair were awake when we got there, sat next to each other and talking in low voices.

"Hey Pokerman! You missed the sweetest speech by our little Berserker. She almost made me cry."

Pokerface turned to look at Lady Manic with a faint frown before turning to look at me with an unreadable expression.

"...you okay Pokerface?" I asked, my voice oddly quiet as I stood before them.

"...no. I've lost an eye, a hand and my foot."

The silence stretched out between us. I opened my mouth then closed it.

"Well, this is awkward!" Lady Manic proclaimed, clapping her hands together. "Pokerface get over yourself and don't kill her. Berserker, I repeat the same." And with that she flew off.

"She's a character," said Whitehair giving me a feeble smile, "I'll leave you two to talk but um- can I just say- thanks- that is- Thanks for saving my life," she spoke to me with a nervous but grateful tone as she pushed herself up with her one remaining arm and wobbled faintly down the tree branch towards the pregnant woman.

"... Can I sit?" I asked Pokerface quietly, pointing to the free space beside him.

His shoulders lifted a fraction of a centimetre in a 'if-you-must' shrug.

"You seem to be more in control than when I last saw you," he intoned quietly, looking out at the forest as a small Titan far far below harmlessly weaved through the trees.

"I- yes. I don't know what happened there, I can't really remember much."

"Oh," he simply said.

"I... did I do this to you? Is it my fault?" I suddenly blurted out, my eyes painfully wide as I looked at him. Pokerface slowly turned to look at me but didn't answer, instead his eyes trailed downwards. It was only then that he noticed my hand clamped tightly over my arm, his body sharply twisting to look at it.

"That guy who wanted to be captain," I explained as he gazed at it steadily.

"So you can get hurt..." He muttered to himself.

"It- it will probably heal fine," I said as he looked down at my arm with a strange expression.

Truth be told it was probably already half healed, I just hadn't dared look.

I had been hurt before. It wasn't often but it had happened, mainly when defending what was mine from other gods.

But metal wasn't a god, how could it-

I suddenly snapped out of my daze as I realised Pokerface was saying something.

"-y did he attack you?"

"I- oh why did he attack me? He didn't, he attacked Barker, tried to fucking kill him and I got in the way." I looked up from my injury as I felt Pokerface scrutinizing me.

"...This isn't your fault," he eventually said, waving at his injuries, faint bitter smile turning the corners of his lips ever so slightly.

"...That's the biggest smile I've seen on you Pokerface," I found myself grinning softly at him.

"Don't get used to it," he returned before looking back out at the forest, watching intently as a fat rock dove whistled past us. I continued to stare at him. I could tell he was lying. I could feel the glow of sacrifice bleeding off of him. I wondered why he didn't tell me the truth.

"What one thing do you want the most in the world?" I asked him in what I hoped was a mild tone.

"...are we talking money and fame? You can keep it," he murmured with what was presumably sarcasm (it didn't translate well in his monotone), his eyes glazed as he stared into empty space.

"Not something you don't want. Something you want more than anything," I repeated, trying to keep the insistence out of my voice.

"...my foot and hand back to normal would be nice," he commented, a faint trace of irritation in his tone.

 _Not enough. It still isn't equal._

"What else?"

He huffed out a breath and turned to look at me again, his remaining eye narrowed and shrewd.

"For you to stop lying so much."

I blinked several times then slowly reached forwards and took his unresisting damaged hand and raising it to my face.

"Granted," I murmured before placing a quick kiss on it. The man frowned at me as he quickly pulled his hand back.

"I'm gonna go out for a bit, tell the others and give the soon Mother this," I told him, pulling an apple out of the shadows of my short cropped coat and passing it to him.

"Where are you going?" He asked me, gazing strangely at the apple.

 _Stop lying so much._

"I'm going to go save everyone."


	5. Chapter 5

_**Yay! So I'm actually able to update this in the time frame I promised myself. There's just one more chapter of Earth after this, then I'll be taking a bit of a hiatus to write the third part of this series. I hope you all enjoy this chapter (and please forgive me if I make any errors as this chapter is unbetaed) xxxx**_

* * *

 _Stop lying so much._

 _Stop lying_ _ **so much**_ _..._

I _could_ still keep my secrets with this request but the way things were at that moment? Well, to put it bluntly, I couldn't continue on the way I was. I lied on an hourly basis.

"You're back! Are- are you hungry Green Eyes?"

"Why don't you rest some?"

"Is your injury all healed yet?"

"...Commander... do you really think we'll all make it back home?"

Yeah, there were some things I still needed to keep to myself. Quite a lot of things really.

"Where have you been Eren?"

But I didn't have to lie to everyone.

"Hey Oldman," I grinned, jumping up onto the man's perch on the main base tree. "I've been to the new edge of the forest."

"New edge?" He asked in a curious whisper as several cadets climbed the branches close by to us, waving at us as they passed.

"Yes. I'm making the forest bigger, pushing up taller trees to hide in and making food. There'll be berries growing all over them in no time," I whispered back, tapping my nose as I had seen Lady Manic do a few times.

"But we'll have to leave soon. We've already been here two weeks. We can't _stay_ here."

I stared at him, surprise evident on my face.

"Why not stay here? There's no point in you going to the wall. There's nothing you can do to fix it," I stated, forgetting to lower my voice as I explained what seemed perfectly obvious.

"She's got a point Christophe. Why should we leave?" Far Eye's voice drifted over to us from the branches above us.

Oldman's head snapped up as several humans around stopped their conversations and openly stared at us, faces clearly reflecting my thoughts.

 _Why leave this place where there were less Titans? Where there was less chance of getting eaten?_

Far eyes climbed down to stand next to the both of us, gently testing the strength of the branch we were on before putting his full weight on it. There was no need for that. The second night here I had gone to all the trees most of the humans stayed on and strengthened the branches. I supposed he didn't know that though.

"We're using up too much gas maneuvering from tree to tree, we won't be able to make the journey to find somewhere more sustainable if we don't go soon, and several people have already been injured slipping off icy branches. Two have died already when they fell."

I raised my eyebrows at the Oldman, sending him a piercing look. That was the first I had heard of this. Why didn't he tell me?

"Two people died... How many do you think would have died if we continued on with our 'mission'?" Far Eyes asked quietly. Oldman turned sharply to meet Far Eye's gaze.

"Those 'two people' were called Lilia and Jacob. If we **are** to remain any longer we would need to make sure no one else gets hurt like that again. Do you have a way of doing that? Do you have a way to keep people warm in the trees where fires can't be built? Or a way of providing food where there's no room to farm. Of protecting against any abnormal Titans who can jump this high or climb trees when we run out of gas?"

Far Eyes opened his mouth with a dark look in his eyes but Oldman held his hand up to stop him, his frame slumping as he let out a tired sigh.

"I _am_ asking seriously. If we have a way to make this forest safe and sustainable then I see no reason why we should leave it."

"Can't we just go back to the inner wall? There's no idiot leader to make everyone keep going," I found myself asking, looking between the two with a trace of worry colouring my voice.

"I wish we could E- Eury," The Oldman murmured softly, eyes downcast and distant.

"The problem with that is that there's too many of us still," Far Eyes explained, gently placing his hand on the Oldman's shoulder, the darkness in his eyes gone now and replaced by a familiar sense of weariness. "There are about a thousand people in this forest out of the six thousand that we started with. It's too many too return. They would just send us out again."

I sighed.

"Sometimes I hate humans," I murmured as I looked away, hands clenched tight. Far Eyes shifted uncomfortably and opened his mouth to say something.

"Eury said she found some trees that may grow berries later in the year," Oldman cut in suddenly, before launching into a dull tirade about food supplies. My irritation slowly seeped away to be replaced by boredom, and I turned away to leave them to it. I'd go somewhere where I could be useful instead, maybe I would go visit the 'Medic tree' (as everyone called it) a bit earlier than usual today.

* * *

"Green!" Greeted Mother with a large relieved smile as I dropped down onto her branch.

"Hey there," I smiled, running my hand comfortingly over her head. It was strange how much she liked being pet like a domesticated cat but I wasn't going to complain about providing comfort in such a small way.

"How's the little one?" I asked her, tapping at her stomach. The woman's smile faded as she looked down.

"It- it's safe..." she whispered. The 'for now' remained unspoken.

Word of the pregnancy had somehow spread across the squad, like wildfire, filling people with hope and horror in equal measures. A birth was a symbol of fortune and life which everyone needed, but to have an innocent, defenseless baby out _here_? Yes, many were horrified, none more so than the mother herself. I sighed, stroking her hair again, smiling down at her acid scared face.

"What do they feel like eating today?" I asked her.

"...Do you have any more apples?" She timidly requested. I grinned and presented an apple with a flourish.

"Where do you keep finding these things?" She exclaimed in surprise as I handed her the fruit.

"That's a good question," came a deadpan voice from behind. I turned to see Pokerface walking up to me.

"Pokerface you're walking!" I exclaimed in delight, jumping up from my crouch to stare intently at my friend.

"My foot must have not been as crushed as I thought," he said in a slow voice. "My hand too... They have both been healing at a _very_ fast pace."

I looked down at my feet then back up with a smile.

"That's... That's great,"

"Yes," Pokerface agreed, staring at me unblinkingly.

"Uh- you wanted to see where I got the fruit?" I asked, trying to change the topic, or perhaps trying to get him to stop looking at me so oddly. "When you can use your gear, I'll show you."

"I can use it now, let's go."

I blinked twice at his impatience but found myself nodding and saying goodbye to the disappointed looking Mother. It was a bit abrupt all of this but it was probably also about time I showed someone what I had made. I had a feeling for a while now that everyone would be wanting to stay here. The place had become familiar to them and a safe refuge from the known and unknown threats beyond the flimsy wooden barricade.

The Oldman _had_ been right about the food and farming problems though. Emphasis on the 'had'. The last week or so I had been working on this little problem both day and night. Now there was place within the forest where small shiny leaved trees bloomed with pale and rich toned flowers, dotted with spring-green and soon to be crisp-red fruit. The land lay sweetly ripe and fertile, open to the sun and surrounded by a meadow of wild flowers and a thick barricade of tall redwood trees.

"This will be perfect for farming! I found a natural spring which can be used for watering the plants if there's ever a drought. Also look over here, Pokerface! There's already some plants going to seed in the earth so come spring there will still be loads of food for everyone," I excitedly explained to the stony faced man as I dragged him along the many acres of farmland. "See the trees along the edge, they're far too close for any small Titans to get through and too tall for the large ones to get over!" I grinned anew as I pointed my free hand at the thick row of trees, fencing in the area. Thin flowering plants climbed and winded around the trunks of these trees, giving of a gentle fragrant scent as the wind blew through the forest. I _thought_ it was perfect.

"The wildflowers will also attract loads of bees I'm sure so you can-" my voice cut off as I felt Pokerface's arm slip out of my grip.

I turned to look at him, confused, only to freeze in place as I saw an expression on his face, clear as day. It was an expression of _hatred_.

"How long? How long have you hid this from us?" He asked.

"I- what?"

"You are not human. You pretend to be but you're not. You can jump as high as ten men and slaughter Titans with your teeth and nails. This wasn't here before. You made it. What the hell are you?"

I stared at him, frozen smile slowly melting off of my face.

"And don't lie to me or avoid the question. Tell me the truth."

 _Don't lie so much._

There was a long, deep silence before I spoke.

"...Da Jæger... a god..." I murmured, looking away from his face and to the surrounding fields of churned up, grey mud.

"...A god," the man spoke in a quiet unbelieving voice. "Gods don't exist. If they did the world wouldn't be like this."

I forced myself to look at him but quickly found myself looking away again as a look of horrified acceptance washed over the man's features.

"Or it would be _just_ like this... You- you say 'a god', there are loads of you? What are you a god of then?" I could feel the anger rolling off of his soft voice. Somewhere inside I wondered why I wasn't angry that a mortal would speak to me like this but I couldn't muster up the feeling. I hadn't- I really should have expected this reaction.

"...Earth and sacrifice and forgotten things," I found myself saying.

"...Sacrifice. Makes sense. Back before the forest, when that last Titan fell, you didn't make any move to come with me, you just stood there no matter what I said or did. I got angry and said I'd- I said... I'd give up my right eye for you to stop being an idiot and come back with me."

This time I did manage to meet his eye, my face slack with surprise.

"I-"

"Don't. Don't you dare say anything! If you are a god, first tell me why you let that man you pulled from the Titan's stomach die, why you tossed him to the side like off meat." He snarled, meeting my wide eyes with a cutting glare. "Tell me why you didn't save Abby, or Pride as you called her. Why didn't you save Lydia or John or all- ALL those THOUSANDS of people who were eaten over these last few months of HELL?! Did you even bother to learn their real names?" He snarled, eyes flashing.

I didn't have an answer for him, I simply stared at him.

"If you hadn't been hiding what you were from us, if you had helped properly from the start, would they all still have died?" He asked.

I was silent, unspeaking, unmoving.

"W _ould they_?" He growled, teeth bared in a snarl and hands forming into fists on the handles of his blades.

 _...No... I couldn't tell them... humans don't react well to gods, it just causes more problems... but if I had could I have saved more of them...? Is it my fault? I- he's right... I hesitated too much. I could have saved more of them. I could have... but I didn't._

In the thick silence around us and in my hesitation to answer him, I found myself watching Pokerface; how his eyes narrowed and his lip curled and twitched in anger.

" _You_. You are going to stop lying _'god of sacrifice_ '. You will tell everyone what you have done, what you _haven't_ done, **or I will** ," the man stated before turning and firing his gear, leaving me alone in my fields of mud.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been over half a year since the day Pokerface, and most likely many of the others, had found out what I really was. I was sat high in the canopy of the medic tree, watching the humans bustle about below on the new wooden deck.

Barker was talking with Mother as she nursed her little child on a grass mat. In her mottled arms lay a frail boy with soft, dark eyes and short podgy fingers. As of yet, he was unmarked by the world. Barker laughed in short sharp bursts as she chuckled lightly, obviously not finding his jokes that funny but playing along with the boy.

I watched but I did not join. I simply sat there until the child fell asleep and Barker was replaced by Fury and Flexer. They stood side by side but an empty space divided the two of them as they delivered herbs and roots they had collected together and spoke with Mother. I knew that the two of them rarely left each other's side in the past but I had noticed in the past this gulf between them where another could have stood. It had only got bigger in the time I had been away.

When they finally left, I followed after them, my form quiet and lithe in the trees, watching as they met with Far Eyes and the Oldman on the wooden platform now built around the main tree.

"How's Lilly and the baby?" I heard Oldma- no - Christophe ask.

"They both seem fine, well fed. Lilly said Barker was visiting earlier in his break from watch duty... I think he still misses her," Fury informed him, her voice lowering into a whisper at the end.

"So does Lil. Any- any new ideas where she's gone?" Asked Flexer hesitantly.

Christophe sighed, running his hands through his frazzled white hair.

"No, like I said: she just told me things would be bad if she stayed, that she was going to try and fix something."

"What could take six months t'fix?" Flexer asked confusedly.

"... I know you don't like to think about it-" started Far Eyes hesitantly, only to be cut off as Christophe raised his hand, palm flat to stop him.

"H- She's not dead. She will come back."

Silence fell again and I forced myself to turn away, jumping quietly from my perch to the next tree and the next until I reached the eaves of the forest.

"Eury! You're back!" Came a relieved voice as I dropped down in the midst of a small group of humans by the forest edge.

There were just over twenty of them, battle-worn and tired but all filled with a brittle, hopeful sense of excitement.

"I found them, the leaders haven't left the main tree. Keep on walking North and you'll find them in no time. Talk to the old man with the long silver hair, his name is Christophe, just tell them you saw smoke and followed."

The leader of the survivors, Marcia, stared at me strangely and shook her shaggy, blond head.

"Why can't we tell them about you? You need to go see your friends."

I chuckled lightly and shook my head. "No, it's fine. I need to go back out there anyway; see if there are any other tough nails like you lot."

"...Eury, we were the only ones left of ten thousand. It took you four months to find us , you're- you're not going to find anyone else."

I shrugged and turned away.

"Good luck you lot," I shouted over my shoulder as I walked.

"Wait! Eury, I just want to thank you ag-" Marcia said, grabbing at my arm to stop me. I quickly slithered out of her grip and interrupted her.

"It's fine. I'm only doing this bec-"

"-'because you made someone a promise', we know," recited Marcia's husband, Luca. I frowned as I detected the teasing tone in Luca's voice but was quickly distracted as the leader began to speak again.

"Still, thank you for saving us. When those things found our hiding place- well- you were amaz-"

" **Marcia**."

"Please, I have to say it: thank you. And thank you for leading us here. We haven't seen a single Titan for three days now."

I puffed out a breath and looked away.

"It's fine, if you wanna make it up to me look after Oldm- well, look after Christophe. He needs to be safe."

"We'll do that," Luca nodded, taking his partner's hand in his with an intense look on his face.

"And tell Fury and Flexer to kiss already," I added to several people's amusement before nodding to them once more, shooting off my gear and leaving.

At least, that was the intention. As I shot up into the trees however, my attention was grabbed by the odd structures built along the forest canopy. Strange wooden towers were dotted in a diamond shape across the forest. I could see, in the one closest to me, several human figures standing, frozen in their vigil of the tree tops.

I wondered for a moment what else had changed in the time that I had been gone. Curious, I slowed in my movement and stopped on a tree jutting out of the canopy before looking down through the leaves. Far below I saw people walking along the forest floor, leading horses along to a row of rough but sturdily built stables. In the trees themselves, small sloping straw roofs had been constructed over wooden platforms that curled around the tree trunks and along the more sturdy branches.

I smiled as I recognised the distant figure of Whitehair, her remaining arm swinging a wooden pole over her shoulder with a crude carved stone at the end. It looked somewhat like a hoe. She and those around her were covered in mud and laughing together. I found myself smiling at the scene before me. That is until I heard the zip and clang of oncoming manoeuvre gear.

"Green Eyes!"

I spasmed and span around as a figure launched itself at me, clinging on like a monkey.

" Barker ?!"

"I knew it was you, the others said you were just a bird but they were wrong!"

"Barker, lower your voice," I hissed as the boy continued to shout out and hug me. He suddenly and sharply pulled away from me.

"What the hell Green Eyes!? We went looking for you and everything! Where have you been?"

"Think I can answer that," came another voice, accompanied by the clang of their gear.

"Hey Old- Christophe," I sighed warily.

"Hey Little One," Christophe returned quietly, eyebrow raised at my use of his real name. "Sorry that Far Eyes won't be joining us. He's busy welcoming the group of asylum seekers you sent our way."

I felt Barker's surprised and relieved gaze at this, and frowned.

"It's fine, I'm not here for long," I needed to go see if there was anyone else still out there.

"What? Why?!" Barker asked, almost slipping from his tenuous grip of the branch we were on as he stepped forward.

My arms shot out as I helped him regain his balance before stepping back and turning to Christophe.

"I'm not needed here anymore. If I stay it's just going to cause problems. I'm going to go out there and help as many humans as I can."

"Green Eyes, we do need you!" Shouted Barker, his hands encircling my arm as if he could physically pin me down.

And just like that, I snapped.

"Child, I am not your friend!" I growled out, spinning to look at Barker in his stupid wide eyes. "I am not your mother to coddle you or someone to look up to and I'm not safe! You know how I was the day that we arrived in the forest? I was out of my mind. I gouged out Pokerface's eye for no fucking reason. I've been like that again though. When I found that lot, refugees as you call them, about to be eaten I became so angry I lost myself; I did things that you do not want to think about, things I cannot remember, could not control. You. Do. Not. Need. Me!"

Barker's eyes widened again and he took a step back, gulping dryly as I steadily stared through him. Then he was gone and it was just me and Christophe. He opened his mouth to speak but I quickly cut him off.

"I know..." I said, gazing after the retreating figure of the ginger haired boy.

There was a long moment of quiet between the two of us as the sun beat it's warmth across our backs and we stared out at the unmoving golden green forest. Eventually Christophe opened his mouth.

"Eren, you need to go back."

I looked at him in surprise.

"But I can't. They don't seem to know about me now but everyone will eventually figure out I'm not mortal, that is, the ones who haven't already."

 ** _"You will tell everyone what you have done, or I will."_**

I looked down at my hands, pulling one of the leaves off the nearby branches and twirling it through my fingers.

"They don't know," Christophe assured me, in what he probably thought was a calming tone. "No one knows why you left and no one knows what you are."

"But they will if I stay. Some will get angry that I didn't help more of them, some won't, and then they will divide and fight. It's happened before, a long, long time ago, and I don't like the idea of it happening again much. It's better if I don't come back," I said, crushing the soft green leaf in my fist.

"I know..." murmured Christophe and I had to fight a smile as I thought back to that night more than a year ago when we had just started this, when he had taken the fight and the rage and the pain out of me with those two little words.

"I don't mean back here," the man continued. "I mean back to Trost. Back to Mikasa and Armin."

The crushed leaf fell out of my slack hands as I slowly turned to face Christophe head on.

"I can't," I said.

"But you-" started the man but I quickly cut him off, placing my hands on his shoulder to meet his eyes.

"No. **I can't.** What if I hurt them as well? I can't-"

"You need them Eren, you need people who care for you and that you care about. You won't hurt them."

I started shaking my head and made to pull away but his hands quickly caught mine and he spoke again.

"I want you to smile properly again. The last time I saw a truly happy smile from you was when you held your sister in your arms. Go back to them and tell my grandson that I'm alright. Look after him for me."

I fell silent, just looking at him as he slowly raised his hand to my cheek, rubbing a rough thumb across it.

"So you cry gold huh? The wonders never cease," he murmured softly with kind, tired eyes.

I turned away, roughly rubbing the palms of my fists over my eyes.

"Not crying. I- I'll think about it Ol- Christophe."

"Call me Oldman, Little God," he said as he ruffled my hair, thick brow raising as I stayed still and let him do this, just for once.

"...Goodbye Oldman," I whispered and turned away, only looking back at his small, hardy figure once before flying away on wind and cable.

* * *

 **Heeeeeeeeey guys! So, this is the last chapter of part two of this series, it's a bit short but I felt like it ended well there. I hope you're all enjoying it and that you'll want to keep reading when I get around to the next bit. I am going to most likely go on a bit of a hiatus with the third part though as I have been putting off 'The Hunter' for far FAR too long. I also have a lot more of the Labyrinth fic to update and a whole new Undertale story soon to come out which I hope you'll check out if you're in the fandom.  
So yeah, a lot going on here. I've got the plot of the final part all sorted in my head, it just takes a lot of time to write it properly. I also need to up on my art skills a bit since I think I may need them to tell parts of the story right, I suppose we'll have to see if I'm up to the challenge.  
Anyway, thanks so much for all the kudos, comments and support with this. You guys are the best :) xxxx**


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